Because Everyone In Canada Lives In An Igloo.
Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter
Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking. Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!
Q:I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants gr
ow?( England )
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.
** If you saw the weather we've been having the last few days, you wouldn't think this question was so out of line!
Q:Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
** You may see other kinds of bears though... even completely sober. My first week on campus someone saw a bear roaming around. There's been bear sightings in local neighborhoods, too!
Q:I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto. Can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q:Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? ( Sweden ) 
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
** See this sign posted in a local park... they tell me what you think of question!
Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto , Vancouver , Edmonton and Halifax ? (England)
A: What, did your last slave die?
**They exist, but none of the banks are the same and international fees for withdrawing are pretty high. Bring cash!
Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle-shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
Q:Which direction is North in Canada? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada?( England )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
** You can fined $300 for bringing in an apple... I don't think this is a ridiculous question!
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? ( Germany )
A: No, WE don't stink.
** After spending hours on the skytrain, I think I'm going to have to disagree with this answer!
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada ?( USA )
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? ( Italy )
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? ( USA )
A: Only at Thanksgiving.
** And in OCTOBER! Thanksgiving is not supposed to come BEFORE Halloween =P
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?( Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.
** Milk maybe.... eggs No! Today is the second time I've gone to the grocery store and they've been out of eggs!
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. ( USA )
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.** You can speak it no problem... its understanding it from others in the
area that's the problem!
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